I really like how thoroughly you detailed all the motion that's going to be happening in your piece - it's really clear, and the way you have it repeating and coming in is interesting. It's kind of hard to imagine how it's going to work out without being able to see the voiceover, though. It might be interesting to incorporate some visual elements that support how he gets the titles in the same place as the title/icon while still keeping the vector Paul around. For example, if you said "Mister is kind of a freebie - Paul got that title just for being born", maybe you could have a little vector baby silhouette swing in just after you start saying "born". Just an idea - it might be fine left alone as it is. It really depends on how you write your voiceover, because if you're going to be taking some time explaining how he gets these titles, you might want a little more going on visually. I'd have to see the script, I guess.
The other thing I'd think about is the last bit where you're saying his whole title - it seems like you're trying to show how overwhelming the entire title is. But I think showing the entire title in one frame (even if you're having it come in one word at a time) like that makes it seem shorter than it is, plus then you have to figure out how to fit it all in, which it looks like you were having trouble doing. Maybe you could just have one large version of each title - or a few titles - flash on the screen as you say it, maybe ending with Ph.D. being spelled out letter by letter in the end? Or you could build it up like you were thinking, but keep it zoomed in so that you see only one title at a time until the very end, where you would zoom out and see the whole thing. I just think it might seem more impressive if the end of the title wasn't predictable (because if you can see the space it's going to fill up, you know the title has to end sometime... whereas with either of those methods, you don't know when his title is going to end, and it just seems longer. Kind of like how driving to places you haven't been before seems to take forever because you have no landmarks to go by to help determine how far along in the trip you really are).
I really like the texture and your type choice. It looks awesome! And I really like the photo of Paul in the beginning. I almost wish it came in again somewhere at the end - maybe somehow incorporated into the "If Paul succeeds..." frame. I think going with the vectors for the rest of it was a good choice, though. :)
Overall, I feel your storyboard is clear and easy to understand. I get a great sense of what you are going for with your motion piece.
I think the texture and background color is a good choice.
For the final slide with all of the names, I like the last arrangement the best. The first one doesn't seem overwhelming, which I'm sure is what you are going for. I like the scale change and text variation in the final arrangement.
For the slide with the doctor, I would choose something other than a pencil. Realistically, doctors don't use pencils because of HIPPA, so maybe a pen or even a scalpel would be more appropriate.
Overall, you did a great job with really finalizing your storyboard. I look forward to seeing the final product!
I really like how thoroughly you detailed all the motion that's going to be happening in your piece - it's really clear, and the way you have it repeating and coming in is interesting. It's kind of hard to imagine how it's going to work out without being able to see the voiceover, though. It might be interesting to incorporate some visual elements that support how he gets the titles in the same place as the title/icon while still keeping the vector Paul around. For example, if you said "Mister is kind of a freebie - Paul got that title just for being born", maybe you could have a little vector baby silhouette swing in just after you start saying "born". Just an idea - it might be fine left alone as it is. It really depends on how you write your voiceover, because if you're going to be taking some time explaining how he gets these titles, you might want a little more going on visually. I'd have to see the script, I guess.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing I'd think about is the last bit where you're saying his whole title - it seems like you're trying to show how overwhelming the entire title is. But I think showing the entire title in one frame (even if you're having it come in one word at a time) like that makes it seem shorter than it is, plus then you have to figure out how to fit it all in, which it looks like you were having trouble doing. Maybe you could just have one large version of each title - or a few titles - flash on the screen as you say it, maybe ending with Ph.D. being spelled out letter by letter in the end? Or you could build it up like you were thinking, but keep it zoomed in so that you see only one title at a time until the very end, where you would zoom out and see the whole thing. I just think it might seem more impressive if the end of the title wasn't predictable (because if you can see the space it's going to fill up, you know the title has to end sometime... whereas with either of those methods, you don't know when his title is going to end, and it just seems longer. Kind of like how driving to places you haven't been before seems to take forever because you have no landmarks to go by to help determine how far along in the trip you really are).
I really like the texture and your type choice. It looks awesome! And I really like the photo of Paul in the beginning. I almost wish it came in again somewhere at the end - maybe somehow incorporated into the "If Paul succeeds..." frame. I think going with the vectors for the rest of it was a good choice, though. :)
Overall, I feel your storyboard is clear and easy to understand. I get a great sense of what you are going for with your motion piece.
ReplyDeleteI think the texture and background color is a good choice.
For the final slide with all of the names, I like the last arrangement the best. The first one doesn't seem overwhelming, which I'm sure is what you are going for. I like the scale change and text variation in the final arrangement.
For the slide with the doctor, I would choose something other than a pencil. Realistically, doctors don't use pencils because of HIPPA, so maybe a pen or even a scalpel would be more appropriate.
Overall, you did a great job with really finalizing your storyboard. I look forward to seeing the final product!